Hmm

I don't know.. For some reason I like tumblr better, but I don't want to leave my previous posts here. I may just re-post them all, a long with the date I wrote them. I haven't decided yet, but I probably will.

One Less Thing.

So I've decided I don't need this weighing down on me anymore. I used to look down and away from people, ashamed, when they'd laugh, make jokes, stare at me, etc, in the mall, in school, anywhere. Well, not anymore. I stare right back. They don't get the satisfaction, it just makes me laugh now. Idiots will always exist, be the better person and don't let them get you down; they're not worth it.

I'm a thinker, my mind's always going. One thing that crosses it a lot is how other people judge me from my appearence.. How they look at me like I'm a freak. Don't look at me with that sort of smirk, as if you're in the right and I'm in the wrong.

For those of you that are surprised from what I've said, it's probably because you don't care or notice this. Well, this is because you're awesome, but it happens to me every time I walk out the door. Sometimes in my own home.

Something that really bothers me is ignorance pertaining to this; if that's what it's considered. Not that they even try to understand, to see things from my perspective. The reason I don't let it slide so easily and say they don't know any better, in my mind, is because it's cruel and effected me in negative ways. They wouldn't like it if others were to act towards them the same way. You don't know why I am the way I am, so think about that before you make fun of me for being 'different'. As if it's a crime. I know I'd never be so rude and obnoxious to someone because they're 'different', jeez, the world would be one boring place if everyone was the same. You'd realise that fact if everyone were to be the same, if everyone started coming to school or wherever with the same shirt you have on. That angers people, doesn't it? The same styles, the same look, the same way of acting. Gardens can't work rite without diversity, different creatures and plants work together. We're closer to nature than we think.

People crack the same jokes, over and over, as if they're the first ones to come up with it, as if they're being clever. Funny, real funny. I'm being cranky because I don't cry of laughter along with you? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't exactly yell at you to shut up because it bothers me either. That's what I'd have to do to make people stop, seeing that no one listens to me if I don't break down or yell. Maybe it's the fact that I hardly do anything about these kinds of things that people don't take me seriously. I just don't want to bother people. Maybe i have to start getting meaner, but I won't because I don't think it's right. It's not who I am.

I'm just trying to do my best to live as happy as I can, regardless of the idiots out there that decide I'm negatively different. It's not that I'm trying to be different, it's just how I am. Like I mentioned before, you don't know why I am the way I am, maybe I can't help it. Which is the case. What would actually make me stupid and in the wrong is changing out of wanting to please everyone else. In all honestly, as cold as this may sound, your opinion pertaining to this doesn't matter in the least and the only person I need to make happy is myself. That's the only person I have to face every minute for the rest of my life. Through being myself, people will like me and dislike me. I'd rather people dislike me for who I am rather than like me for who I'm not. If you'd let something as stupid as appearence blind you from seeing someone for who they are, being the reason for your resistence to them, then I don't even want you to like me.

So if you don't like the way I look, then don't look at me, because I couldn't care less of what you think. Try to remember that your opinion's not a world wide concurrence.

Thankyou

It may be... Erm... Yeah, now, though it's coming along nicely after nearly a half an hour... I'll make this work. It's more than the article itself, nice in appearance though not so much in fit; rather the fact it came from you. Though I must say I'm quite fond of it nonetheless.

F.

Today just.. Isn't a good day in general. I just want to punch and smash things. Over and over again.

I'm sick, got no sleep last night, have a splitting headache, had to hold back what I wanted to say too many times, got really shitty news, found out I have far too much work than I can handle right now.. etc etc etc. Man, I'm just depressed. I hate it when this happens... It happens too often. I hope it blows over by tomorrow because I can't stand being a downer.
I want to keep my complaining to a minimum, but I just have a couple things I want to write about.

I feel bad that I was so pissed off when my dad dropped by while I was trying to nap.. He brought me my birthday present that finally came in. That made me smile, but I was still upset. I had been in need of a new mp3 player for a while now, so I put down my work and opened it up. For me, one of the most important things in electronics I buy is the language options. Since I'm learning Japanese alone, it's more difficult so I incorporate it in my day as much as possible. So I went to change the language setting and saw a long list of languages and cracked a smile, but once I got down to the bottom Japanese didn't end up being on it. I feel bad, once more, about feeling so mad about that.. But maybe it's just because I'm in this state right now. Usually I'm more easy going.

No one reads my blog spot anyways, so I don't really care about complaining on it. It feels sorta like I told someone though. Didn't go much into detail, but I barely talk about anything to anyone, so it's good enough for me.

Hello Saturday.

I've created 5 posts since my first on March 10th, that's.. Kind of pathetic. Aha, I planned to be far more active than I've been and perhaps that'll change. I meant to post one the other day, actually. I had it all written out but never did anything with it... There's no point in posting it now. I just wrote about my head feeling compressed and stuff, it was mostly complaining and junk people wouldn't expect me to write. No big loss.

Summer's almost over, man did I ever need that break. To be honest, grade 11 wasn't a good year. I made amazing friends, but that's nearly it.. I was constantly with a headache, I was over worked.. To say the least, I had a lot going on and quite a bit of it no one really knew about. I haven't been able to unwind yet.. I thought throughout the year that it would happen instantly when Summer came.. But I guess that's not the case. I'm glad grade 11's over though.

So now I'm going on year 12.. My grad year. Ohh boy, I'm not looking forward to it.. For both common and stupid reasons. Mostly I'm dreading the many fights I'll have with my mother about my grad pictures. I know, I'm ridiculous... I'm sorry, but it's really not my fault.
On the bright side, I've gotten over my negative thoughts about prom. I used to be nervous about it, but I don't care about that anymore. So what if I'm gonna wear a tux, I'm sure no one expects me to wear a dress anyways. To be honest, I'd really like to go with someone.. But I guess it isn't that important to me. It's gonna be horribly awkward if I have to turn anyone down.. and I probably won't have the guts to ask anyone.

Anyways, enough of this ranting. The past few day's have been unbearably hot, I had freaking.. A million fans going full time and it was still ridiculous. This part of Canada hasn't been this hot since 1976 or something like that, it's been almost 40 C. Hurricane Earle's on it's way, the weather's expected to go back to it's usual soon.
Ugh, I dislike the name Earle. xD
Just saying. haha

I miss you.

I finally took the time to sit down and watch the movies "Twilight" and "New Moon".. I would've watched "Breaking Dawn" too, if it was on the list. It wasn't as dumb as I thought it would be, but.. I don't enjoy it. It's not all that, the "Underworld" series is far better.
You used to tell me that I remind you of Edward Cullen, but I knew little of the series and never got why. I get what you meant now.

LOL..

I ripped my pants today in dance class. And it was hilarious.
I was just kinda dancing, like I usually do in dance class.. And suddenly when I was getting up from a floor move, my pants completely ripped. From the crotch to the knee. Myygod. =__=
So, for the last 20 minutes of class I was pretty much just.. Doing all the moves at 10% of my ability, to lower the risk of anyone noticing the rip. I can't believe it happened though. Seriously? GAH.
Well, I was just so ninja that no one noticed.
After class ended I just went straight outside and showed my mom once I got to the car. She laughed hysterically.
Mom: They're ripped beyond repair.
Me: -facepalm-
So.. Here's a picture of this unfortunate event. Click to make it bigger.
LOVELY AYY?

I put a piece of white computer paper inside them, so you can see the rip better.. What the heck.